Diary of A Christian Law Lady

As we run, we must always look towards Jesus. He is the one who trusted God completely. Our faith starts with him, and he will help us to trust God all the way to the end. Jesus accepted punishment on the cross. He chose to receive much pain. He did not think about being ashamed to die like that. He knew that God had prepared something very good for him that would make him happy. Now he has sat down at the right side of God to rule with him in heaven.
Hebrews 12:2 EASY
https://bible.com/bible/2079/heb.12.2.EASY

Hi there, welcome to today’s blog. It’s a discussion about grace and I’m excited for you already about what you’re about to read. Let’s get to it!🕺💃

I believe that the things people first notice about me are my smile, my consistently positive attitude, and then an aura that says “everything will be fine” because eventually, everything will be fine. However, some weeks ago I found myself, though not for the first time, being threatened with the possibility that all of these attributes could not stop me from going through turbulent times or make everything fine.

A lot was happening, a lot was not happening, and it felt like I was losing more than I could afford to lose. Before August, I gave up something very big for me in July. It felt like I gave away my entire heart and I had many crying episodes. However, I eventually came around after many doses of God’s word and faith confessions. I still did not understand the whole situation but I knew what I had to do. Let go, and let God.

August came with a new euphoria and the desire to do God’s will, God’s way. So, I took on the challenge. I got my faith and the strength to do more on! I felt that since I already lost something that meant a lot to me, it was time to do life by myself, but with God of course.

August turned out to be another roller coaster of its own. I attended the RCCG Convention and got a good break from my routine, I got God’s word in, and was fired on to do more. It did not however mean I was still without many uncertainties. However, for each one of them, I knew I was going to prevail, even if it meant doing it afraid.

How many responsibilities did I say yes to, but almost didn’t come through for any of them? I was not Blogging for a while, I was just somewhere not admitting that I was sulking, and wondering why God doesn’t tell us about the stay at Potiphar’s place or in jail before he gives us those big dreams.

I think one of the biggest realizations for me in the process of trusting God even when I cannot see where he is leading me, has been the fact that as much as my feelings and emotions are there and present, my emotions are ultimately my decisions. The best way to put it is that I only feel what I choose to make out of the processes I pass through in life.

If I decide that God doesn’t love me because I failed at any major responsibility, that’s how I will feel; Unloved and Forsaken. If I decide that I can never get this consistency thing right, that’s how I feel; Inconsistent and incapable. However, if I decide and I remember that there’s no condemnation for me, then even when the feelings of condemnation come to plague me I know that I am not giving in. If I decide and remember that God is out working for my good because I love him and nothing can stand against his purpose and love for me, then my feelings begin to fall in line. I am what the word says I am. I am not my mistakes. I am Sandra, a child of God’s love.

So, slowly but surely I began and I still am reminding myself daily. I am reminding myself that the enemy is already out to plague me when I make mistakes, so why will I help him in his mission when I have the bigger one out to work and salvage every situation for my good?

I remembered that while thinking about how much I had lost, I was getting new dms, new friends, new connections, new customers, and great things happening. But I did not care about any of it. I was more concerned about what I had lost than the many new doors that were opening. It’s like losing a doll that you had since you were five. Maybe a car drove over the doll, or your baby cousin cried so much for it that she got to go home with it. Then your parents see how much it got to you and get you a new puppy, puzzles, and pizza on their way from work. Do you know how fabulous those ‘Ps’ are? However at some point last month I was the lady who saw all those ‘Ps’, but still, shut the door crying over my doll.

If there’s anything I owe God, it’s a big Thank you for not giving up on me. One night after church, I was walking home alone and the word dropped in my heart; ‘Look around, they that are for you are way more than what you have lost or the people against you ‘. It took a minute to process it, but I recalled every message, every moment I had to pray with a crowd or an individual, every time I had to decide to share God’s word with a total stranger, every one of the imperfect perfections suddenly made me see how blessed I am. I do not have a community of 12 disciples like Jesus did, or own a thousand cattle as Job had, but one thing is certain. I have God! As long as he stays the center of my life, there will be more gains than losses. I only have to choose to see the gain every time as Jesus did.

My entire line of thoughts here is to share with you that God is not one to fail or to give up on people and he will not start with you. Stay with God! He knows you, he feels you and it’s time to start feeling the way he feels about you about yourself. He has given you his word, but it’s on you to take it up and decide that the word applies to you.

I’m living and still learning the act of receiving Grace, each day. One day at a time to say Yes to God, No to the enemy’s lies, No to the feelings that steal my joy, and Yes again to God every day. It’s easy when you make it easy. Saying Yes to doing it with God and for God today makes tomorrow’s decision to say Yes easier. That’s how grace works, we grow in it, not attain it at a moment. Knowing that because God is true today he will be true tomorrow so I don’t have to worry. Even when situations aren’t pleasant, God’s promises stay true.

Don’t be obsessed with getting more material things. Be relaxed with what you have. Since God assured us, “I’ll never let you down, never walk off and leave you,” we can boldly quote, God is there, ready to help; I’m fearless no matter what. Who or what can get to me?
Hebrews 13:5‭-‬6 MSG
https://bible.com/bible/97/heb.13.5-6.MSG

This is the way grace works. Step by step, precept upon precept, till we see Him. To read more about embracing grace for each day, Read my blog post – Capturing Grace here; https://diaryofachristianlawlady.law.blog/2021/11/28/capturing-grace/

I pray that it’s going to be a very pleasant September for you. Xoxo🤍