Diary of A Christian Law Lady

The ground was moist from the rain the previous night, and Labi hurried as she caught up with a cab. It had been a long solemn night for her and she swore never to speak of it to anyone for as long as she was sane.

She looked through the cab’s window, and the rain droplets reminded her of how much she had cried the previous night. Her little sister had called with the news of their mum’s admission to the hospital. She had grown up expecting it someday, but she never knew her dad would be so quick in pulling the plug, at least, he had held his calm for so long.
The cab driver’s shout brought her mind back to reality. She paid him, stepped out, and walked slowly to the lecture room for the day’s class.

She sat at her usual place and stared blankly at the lecturer, whose lips moved as he muttered words that seemed incomprehensible to her. That was the way life seemed anytime chaos broke out at home, void and baseless.
The lecture appeared longer than usual. Labi stared at the other students in the room. She jealously admired the cliques that sat together, some chattering away and others eager to learn. Life seemed all perfect for them and it was contrary for her.

The class finally came to an end and staying back for another would have meant signing a death note for her. As usual, she was unseen as she packed her books and scurried past people as they said their ‘hellos’ to one another.
‘Life is vain’, she thought to herself and flagged down the next bike to her apartment.

Everything seemed baseless to Labi and she could no longer bear it. Her mum had gone out of her way to get married to her stepfather and since their marriage, he had contributed nothing but pain to the family.

She thought back to that cold night in May, three（3） years ago. She had just completed her Senior School Certificate examinations（SSCE） and she lay in her bed as she thought of all the beautiful things she would do after she got a degree from the University. She remembered that the lights went out that night as she turned in her bed with sleepy eyes.
A few minutes into the night, she felt a presence at her feet and waved it off as some sort of imagination, but it drew closer, it became weightier and real. She had pulled down the blanket and beneath was the image of a grown man.

‘ Dad! ‘, she gasped, ‘What are you doing here？’
He had calmed her and promised that he would make her a real lady that night. She was perplexed and her brain suddenly seemed unable to think up a response. Like a lion on top of its prey, he mounted on top of her and tore her pants, leaving her bewildered. He whispered soothing words to gain her trust as she lay still like a lamb before the slaughter. He crawled up his way between her legs and pulled her dress off her body. She felt open but eager to know what he was searching for. Her nipples stiffened as he caressed her. She was naked, scared, and yet eager about everything.

He whispered reassuringly into her ears and she trusted him, at least he was now her new father. Slowly, he entered her, she was sure something had broken and she let out a mild cry and he shushed her.
He had her to his satisfaction that night. It had been painful but arousing. After the incident, he patted her and called her a ‘Big girl’. She liked it, no one ever called her that, not even Mum.

It happened over and over again, till her conscience began to prick her.
‘ It happens at night ’, she thought. ‘It definitely must be a terrible thing.
It however was the only thing that made her feel like a big girl, and she could not get that anywhere else. Her dad also stopped beating her mum as he used to, he would spend the midnights with her and she felt caged, ‘ like a bride for the night ’.

She remembered how joyful she was the month her admission letter had been sent. Tears of joy had rolled down her eyes as she tore the letter open. It was time for freedom at last！
The beeping alarm brought her mind back to reality, and she wept as she fell to the floor. He was gone now, he had broken her, her mum and the whole family and he just left…
‘Not on my watch！’

Labi got up quite late the next morning, packed up a few things, and took the next bus back home. Mum was laying on the bed at the hospital and her younger sister smiled as she looked up to see her.
‘He left Labi…’, she muttered. ‘He slammed Mum’s head on the table and ran off immediately after she started bleeding. ‘
Labi felt angered as she patted her sister on the back.
‘That wicked man has to pay for this… ’, She thought to herself.

# # # # #

Labi’s mind was fixed on revenge for days. There was not much to be done at school anyway, asides from attending lectures. She had her mind focused on settling everything before she went back to school. Her sister spent most of the time with their mum at the hospital while she thought up places her stepfather could be hiding. She recalled an old workshop he had stopped by when they went out some years back.
‘He never had a life anyway…’, She thought to herself. She knew he would either be there or he had run out of town. She fell asleep on the sofa, thinking of what punishment best suited him, and she blamed him for what she had become as she smirked evilly in her sleep.

6:00 pm came rather late the next day and she was glad to be finally free as she dashed out of the hospital. A bike came along after a minute and she succinctly described the location of the workshop to the bike man. It had been a rough ride, and the rainy season had worsened the condition of the roads. Labi got off the bike a few blocks away from the workshop and waited for a while with her gaze fixed on the building.
She watched grown men troupe in and out, some in worn out and dirty mechanic wears, and others getting changed as they prepared to close for the day’s work. She hummed to herself as some traders walked by signaling her to patronize their goods. She had waited for almost forty-five（45） minutes and there still was no sign of her stepdad.
‘Maybe he ran off for real this time.’, she whispered.

Labi straightened up feeling defeated and was about to leave when she caught a glimpse of her stepdad’s image. She looked more closely to be reassured that she was not mistaken, and it certainly was him. He was leaving the workshop and she knew that was the best time to strike.
Her plans were thought out, she had a dagger and a catapult and was set to use whichever seemed more appropriate. The clouds became darker and she walked slowly behind her stepdad, unseen. They were approaching the express and she had to get to him before she ran out of chance. He moved swiftly and she hastened up behind him.
‘Dad!’, she called out. He wore a look of both hate and fear as he saw her and he did not think twice before he ran off. She chased after him, leaving her slippers behind. He was running towards the express.

It all happened fast, like a flash of lightning. It was real and she had been too late, there was a pool of blood and people gathered around the body. Different whispers, chants, and comments filled the air. She felt cold sweat roll down her face, and her mind became clouded. He was dead, he couldn’t have survived it.

She felt guilty, but she did not do it, she pulled herself together and flagged down the next bike home.
It was the most sleepless night ever. She saw images of her dead father in her dream. She would have been a murderer if she had done it. The brutal thought frightened her, she had to get back to school. She needed a break from everything.

The next morning, Labi woke up with sore eyes and freshened up as she prepared to leave for school. Her Mum smiled at her, so genuine and it brought her the type of peace she could not fathom. She felt human as she hugged her Mum and her little sister.
Inside the bus, on the way back to school a woman sat by her. This woman prayed for them immediately after the bus took off and she preached about a pretty interesting man called ‘Jesus’. She spoke of his sacrifice, his love for all men, and many beautiful things which fascinated Labi. The woman spoke for about an hour and finally rested her case.

‘pssst…’, she whispered to the woman. ‘Did you say this Jesus loves me?’

‘Why! Yes my dear’, The woman’s smile reminded her of her Mum’s look that morning and melted her heart.

‘Ma… I chased my stepdad to his death and I have had so many bad thoughts, can he still love me？’

‘My dear, he has and will always love you.’, The woman said.

Labi felt assured and wanted to know more about this love. She rested her head on the woman’s shoulder and the woman patted her back.
‘He loves you, Jesus loves you, he does…’
The voice became faint as she slept off, it was different this time. It was peaceful and different.

***

Writer’s Note: In most cases, abuse and unforgiveness are an inseparable pair. Many individuals who face any form of abuse seldom have control over the situation. However, something they do have control over is the decision to forgive or not. I wrote the story of Labi some years ago when I had trouble with forgiveness. I sat to think of the worse experiences people could have and after writing this story I still reached the resolve that forgiveness is a choice and a possibility regardless of the situation. Forgiveness is given by us to others because we received forgiveness from God in Christ Jesus. Today, take a step toward forgiveness and let God heal your hurts. God bless you. ~Sandra Attoh

Thank you so much for reading.