Diary of A Christian Law Lady

If you were to tell your story to the world, where would you start?

There are stories we may tell about ourselves that may seem unreal. Largely because the individual being spoken of is so different from the one sharing the story when placed side by side.

This is true for the most of us, that one occurrence that set our lives on a transformed path, and today I want to say a part of my story “How perfect love made me without fears”.

I remember being younger, and physically there really wasn’t anything that threatened my existence. I have wonderful siblings and an amazing family, where everyone roots for you, but deep seated somewhere in me was a threat and a voice that always said ‘not enough’.

The voice would get lost on the playground, in the church, during family time and outings but when I was alone it would be back asking “if all I was, was enough to get me to where I ought to be?”

We all react to the enemy’s suggestions in different ways but the way prescribed by God’s word is;

So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
James 4:7 NLT

The enemy really has no power over us asides from suggestions, and in agreeing to those suggestions we allow him wield some power in those areas of our lives. However, once we stand in our place of authority in Christ and hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, we see only the pictures of God for our lives.

So, when I was young, I believed the not enough lie and began to want to be enough and funnily all I wanted and believed would make me enough was if I were a boy instead. Somewhere in my head I believed being a girl made me incomplete and on the disadvantaged path of life, so just maybe “If I were a boy, I would be complete”.

The thought was funny, but I really desired it, so much that I never looked that much at myself in the mirror (if you know me now, I have a good relationship with mirrors, maybe too good in fact 🥺😂), I didn’t know I was pretty till I became more conscious of God’s hands upon me, and I just felt I would be more fulfilled being a boy. I think the 3rd part was because in Primary school a boy had slapped me and it hurt so bad, and I knew if I had been a boy I would have hurt him just as much.

Fast forward to when I started having crushes. Ordinarily we know what this feels like yeah? It was different for me however, when I saw a boy I admired, I had a different prayer, all I wanted to do was wake up one morning and we’d have switched bodies. I prayed for this on a few occasions but it never happened, I realized I was stuck with being a girl forever.

Now, in the midst of me searching for fulfillment I wanted answers. Why don’t I like being a girl? Can God do something about this already? I remember my desire leading me to see what creation was in the Bible and how both male and female were God’s image ( I didn’t feel so much like the image of God literally).

Yes! I found answers. The first answer I found however was salvation. I found that Jesus died for the world, myself inclusive. Though I was a girl, I was worth His blood, then I was definitely worth something. I began to find fulfillment in the scriptures. I read through Bible stories and saw women who had walked in the eternal counsel of God. I realized that God who was infinitely wise couldn’t possibly make gender mistakes and this realization changed me.

I became happier, I literally lived with joy. I stopped trying to fit myself into a puzzle that I wasn’t meant to be in. I literally changed from being a young unsure girl to becoming fascinating. It all didn’t happen in one day, but days of silencing the devil and getting hold on God’s immeasurable love for me drove the fears out. I remember someone told me one day “Wow Sandra! You never used to be this confident or full of life and joy, what changed you?” And all I could say was “I realized God’s love for me, I have His Holy Spirit and now I can confidently do life cos I know the one who’s writing my story.”

God’s Perfect Love rid me of my fears and helped me see that He made me enough for the purpose to which I have been called. All this started from knowing that Jesus paid so great a price for me, I am God worthy.

Now, I don’t know what lies or suggestions the enemy ever brought your way, but anything that’s contrary to what God’s word has to say about you doesn’t count. You are made in all of God’s image, God has given you the spirit of boldness, you have the capacity to love, you are wonderful being female, you are amazing being male, God can work strength in your weakness and He can make you enough because His love is more than enough.

All you need do is get God’s word in, stay conscious of what it says about how much love He has for you and always be vulnerable with your Father. He sees your heart and isn’t afraid to hear you speak to Him.

Remember what Galatians 5 says, it is for Freedom you have been made free, live in that freedom and walk fully conscious that God made you just the best way you could ever be. No one can be “you-er than you”.😌😅

Thanks for reading till the end.

God bless you. Love Walk continues again tomorrow 😊

Love you 💕